Back to square one. Or no square, without an arena...

I spoke to the owner of the flood-lit arena down the road.... it is only available for agistees.

So, back to square one. There is a McMansion between here and that place however given that they're clearly not badly off, I don't think the incentive of 'I'll pay you if I can use your arena' will really get me anywhere. Boo hiss.

Of course, just as I heal and can finally get back in the saddle, the days will be getting shorter. Argh!!

Broken pelvis, broken dreams.

In less than optimum news, I'm now stuck on crutches with a broken pelvis and can't ride for 3 months. THREE. WHOLE. MONTHS. Meaning I'll miss being able to use my Christmas holidays to ride, I'll lose out on all the hard work Kadey and I have been doing AND I'm going to miss most of the next show season as I can't ride til March, then will need a few months to get my seat back in order as it'll be a bit different.

My family all want me to sell Kadey and I guess I have some big thinking ahead. It's so hard, we've done so much work and I love him to tears. But he's always going to be a bit flighty. But he's so lovely. But, but, but....

Lame pony is STILL lame and I'm emo

I'm pretty emo right now - Kadey is definitely out now. He was a little stiff when I walked him in hand but I went to ride him as per the farrier's suggestion. But as soon as he was led under saddle he started to rear and grunt. He calmed down so I got on but as soon as I did he bunched up and started to kick out. He was so jumpy, he ran off a little when i got off.

I'm putting it all down to him being sore; that he's just princessy about having a sore hoof and doesn't want to walk under saddle as it hurts, which is fair enough.

It also sucked because he was windsucking a bit and so rather than building a bond with him I had to keep repremanding him, pretty much undoing all of the bonding we've done over the last week.

So I'm pretty disappointed at the moment and worried about the following:

What if...
1. He is lame and will always be lame OR highly prone to being lame. Ergo, expensive lawn ornament.
2. This is going to cost $$$$ in farriers, vets, equissage and who knows what else to sort out.
3. What if he's always going to rear and buck when I try to work him?

I'm trying to view things in a businesslike manner - ie at worst if he's lame for life I sell him/give him away and save up for the next horse. Not ideal but just means I need to save dollars. Doesn't mean my riding career is doomed, just delayed.

I also don't want to be scared to ride my horse.

This is all just. not. optimal. :(